Report Card

Okay, for all of you whining/complaining/begging to see my second grade report card, here it is.
2nd Grade Rpt Card Envelope


I rarely share such personal details, because I’m not very nostalgic about my school career.

I went to Fairport Elementary in Dayton, Ohio, back in the 1970’s. Back then, the Dayton City Schools were in decent shape. I lived in the decaying suburb of Dayton View. Mom and Dad fled to the south suburbs two years later, because I kept getting the adolescent crap kicked out of me at Fairport, which has since been torn down.

Today, you don’t wanna go get lost in Dayton View unless you have a 50-caliber machine gun mounted in the payload of your pickup truck.

But back to those sunny days before Nixon’s henchmen broke into the Watergate Hotel.

2nd Grade Report Card


Checkmarks are good. I got a lot of them. I aspired to be a model citizen. And to avoid getting the adolescent crap kicked out of me.

But if you look close, you’ll see one blemish. An “X.” I can’t remember the ripe, red-faced, white-dwarf-star-hot embarrassment I must have felt for earning this Mark of Shame. But I earned it in Science. Thankfully, the stench of failure didn’t cling to me like Axe Body Wash. After all, it was Science. Mastering it was never a motivator.

I probably didn’t “contribute additional information” about Science during the second quarter that year, because I was just afraid of the growing Blackboard Jungle environment at Fairport.

Nevertheless, it’s kinda cool that I can look back at this report card and laugh. Nervously.
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