Select all that apply.

Yesterday, Job Candidate A drove east for 15 minutes to Potential Employer B. He then walked 100 yards into one of Employer B’s buildings for an interview.

After watching a 5-minute promotional video about how cool the buildings were, he then discovered that the “interview” was actually a continuation of the battery of aptitude tests he had been taking for a low-skill, part-time multimedia job.

The new tests consisted of 3 math tests, each one progressively more nightmarish than the preceding one. The final test was a hornet’s nest of hateful word problems requiring 20 or more math classes for which to be fully prepared.

Candidate A has neither studied nor needed complex math skills in 25 years.

How should Candidate A respond to these tests?

A) Gamely try to answer as many problems as possible knowing that he will complete 8% of the tests

B) Curl into the fetal position and moan softly while rocking back and forth

C) Attempt to purchase answers from eventual Winning Candidate C sitting next to him

D) Cough the word “Bullsh*t!” repeatedly while shuffling papers loudly

E) Draw Wile E. Coyote-style revenge fantasy diagrams on scratch pad